Disability and Christlikeness

I just came across this short article by Angela Beise--a missionary and the mother of four children, including a 10-year-old with a rare genetic chromosomal disorder ("18Q-minus"). It is a very moving and thoughtful one. Indeed it uncovers the hidden blessing that God gives to those parents who have to endure all sorts of inconveniences of having a child with disabilities. Angela wrote in Christianity Today:

In the days following this teacher's remark, I tried to imagine a society devoid of people with disabilities. What if any and all babies with special needs were to be eliminated? What would a society look like if everyone were "normal," if we never had to make provisions and exceptions for people who are deaf, blind, mute, or lame?

I didn't have to look any farther than my own family to start finding answers. My children are among the most unselfish people I have ever known. Brian, 19, Melissa, 17, and Rachel, 13, have made sacrifices, too many and too big to count, for their disabled sibling. One would think that this would have made them bitter and discontented. Amazingly, it has done exactly the opposite. They are thankful, giving, and tolerant to difficult and unlovely people.

As I pondered this potential "perfect" society, one verse from the Bible kept coming to my mind: "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit" (Phil. 2:3). Parenting a child with special needs makes living out this verse a little easier.

This child becomes the focus of most of his parents' time and energy. An enormous amount of money may have to be spent on therapists, doctors, hospitals, and equipment. He limits what dreams his parents can pursue. They grieve throughout his lifetime. They not only grieve the child they "lost" at his birth, but grieve as they see him struggle with tasks that normally come easy, grieve when he realizes that he is not like other children, and often when he is in physical or emotional pain. They have little room left for selfish ambition.

What about vain conceit? That is likely to die, too. It's often embarrassing to have a child who cries out in public for no reason, looks different, and acts different. He won't be at the top of his class, won't be the best athlete, and will probably never be voted Most Beautiful or Most Likely to Succeed.

I wonder, if our advanced technologies successfully eliminate the weak and needy, will future scholars, theologians, politicians, and poets ponder: "Why has our society become less loving, so selfish, so intolerant, so uncommitted to anything outside of individual gain? Why are we so full of selfish ambition and vain conceit?" Is this "perfect" society a place where any of us would want to live?

If having a child with certain disabilities is what it takes for God to make Christian parents more Christ-like, which is in the final analysis is what it matters when we see God face to face, then they have to be thankful for this unique means of grace. Of course there are other ways to be more Christ-like, but I am sure if having a child with disability is what God, in his perfect and sovereign will, arranges for that to happen among those who love Him, then it is surely something that He meant for good (Romans 8:28)