Hard Drive Crash

About a month ago my hard drive had a near death experience. Honestly, that's the last thing that one would expect from a Macbook. But it did happen to me. The tech experts had been trying to resuscitate the drive for days, all they managed to save was some 20% of the files, most of which were 'junk' files from the manufacturer which I don't need. Following some horrific clicking noise, it died on the operating table. I managed to take a shot of it so that I have something to remember it by.

I only wrote this now as I had gone through the five stages of grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. I remember screaming in my head, "This can't be happening, not to me!" (denial), then the tech experts told me "It's real, man." Moving on the second stage, I blurted out mentally something to this effect: "NO! NO! How can this happen!" When I asked the tech doctor what had possibly happened, he asked me if I had travelled interstate or overseas with my laptop. When the answer was yes, he immediately said "Aha, what might have happened was when your Macbook went through the security machine, it was in a sleep mode, not completely turned off. That has been known to cause fatal damage to the drive." I cringed.

The main reason for my anger was twofold. First, the 2000++ photos of my family are completely gone. I didn't make any backup (...yes, I know it's unthinkable). Second, my three years worth of sermon scripts also completely vanished into thin air. More than 1,000 pages of sermon texts are gone! Sermon series on the seven deadly sins, Ephesians, Minor Prophets, Attributes of God, Sermon on the Mount, and others which were meant to be turned into books one day completely extinct!

I had gone through the bargaining stage as well, hoping that some of my sermons and photos are saved. It happened only to the photos, very few though. Thus, I was depressed for days, trying to lament over the 10-15 hours I spent each week preparing one sermon. I wouldn't have the energy to do it all over again. What's the point?

Finally, however, I am now in the Acceptance stage, and am learning to live with the reality of my loss. Here are few lessons, theological and technical, which I have learned from this invaluable experience (they are not arranged in any order):

1. Always ensure my laptop is off before going through security check at the airport; the best way to do it is to take the batt off.
2. Always back up the files (Leopard now has a time machine that does automatic back up to ext drive)
3. I value my files more these days now that I realize I can lose them anytime. The same goes to all other things or more important people in our lives.
4. In his providence, God allowed me to lose these important stuff to remind me to be relying on him and him alone. He gives and he takes.
5. Much more important than sermon texts is the extent to which I have lived those truths written there. What matters is not whether I do have a growing collection of sermon texts (eventually they will not be taken to the eternal realm). What matters is whether I live what I preach.
6. Past memories (in the form of photos) are important, and nice to have. But much more important is the here and now. To live and savor the moments I have with my wife and my kids.
7. Technology is great until it does not work (that includes Mac, too). Technology will cease to be. Never rely on it, or get addicted to it. If we make it our pseudo-lord, our source of happiness (with internet and all), it will fail us terribly.